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Ali_Dawn
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Name: Ali
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Columbia
Birthday: 3/19/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: acoustic guitar, flight, acceleration, hemp jewelry making, love, burt's bees chapstick
Occupation: Engineer
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
4/10/2006
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I absolutely love this Postsecret. The first time I read it I simply laughed, imagining the scenario (with minimal detail) play out. But each time after I fell more and more in love with this little piece of life. It tells a story that reaches much deeper than the words on the card, an intimate perspective on simply what it is to be human; something so raw and pure. There is the basic instinct of sex prominent, but this isn't a story of lust. It is one of a lifetime of love, and a little humor along the way.
Or maybe it's just funny. Either way, it is one of my all time favorite Post Secrets.
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| whispering, we're found
Time to dust off the ol' resume. This is occurring much earlier than anticipated, but I'd say it is career self defense. No, I haven't been laid off, but the only way I can describe Cessna right now is to say that she's in a free fall, and I feel like I'm falling with her. Only when I hit the ground I want to be able to do so with both feet running. When I landed this job is felt too good to be true. I have been interested in aviation all my life and could envision myself in no better place. I literally had Cessna posters on my wall as a little girl. It all felt like it was meant to be.
Now I don't even know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to say my goodbyes just yet. I truly love my job. The most recently hired person in my group was laid off, so that leaves me as the least experienced. I poured my heart and soul into this job over the last 9 months, and for what? I feel like it was all worthless--if I'm laid off it will be the biggest waste of time in my entire life. I'm just now beginning to feel like I have a footing as far as learning everything it takes to perform my job, but instead of using this as a foundation for my future I would be pulled back to the starting line. Now I'm just waiting for the ax to fall. Not knowing is the hardest part.
On a related note, I've realized something big. For all my life I had a goal in mind, some huge thing off in the distance that I put all my efforts into achieving. In elementary, it was getting to high school. In high school it was graduating, doing so as valedictorian, and getting to college. In college it was keeping decent grades and landing an awesome job. With all of that behind me, what now? I mean I have some small personal goals, such as picking up running again, learning about nutrition and eating healthier, and learning Italian. But what happened to that driving force? I feel like I'm just getting by day to day without any direction.
On top of everything, I'm not very good at doing grownuppy things. Currently I've lost my car title. After hours of searching my only conclusion was that it was accidently thrown away with the junk mail since I had to have my mom mail it to me. Without it I cannot get my Kansas plates--my plan for today--something I should have done long ago. I'm not even being a very good wife. I use the excuse that I work 50+ hours a week to think that Aaron should be doing everything else. He cooks and keeps the dishes under wraps which I love, but things aren't being run the way I would prefer. Its a little messier and a little more chaotic, but for the most part it works. I feel like all I do is nag and I don't know how to fix it. I don't have time to do everything my way so I need to learn to let go. Aaron came all the way to Wichita to be with me, he left his job and his friends. Now all I do is work and he sits around the house because it is really hard to find photography jobs these days. The most recently hired photographer on staff at the Wichita Eagle has been there for over 10 years!
I can't change anything by talking about it. Maybe getting out of Wichita is a step in the right direction. For now though, my feet don't have the traction to run. I'll just have to wait and see.
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| 2008.
i hate new year resolutions. why does it take a new year to make yourself into a better person? finding ways to improve oneself should be a part of daily life. instead people put off their shortcomings for the new year, and promptly forget about them come February 1st. (don't get me wrong, i admire those who make new year resolutions and stick with them. when used properly, they can be wonderful. but most of the time i see only abuse of the resolution tradition)
i would like to blow a kiss to 2008, and bid it adieu. it was a hell of a year. major life events include graduation from college, relocation to a new state, a new job, and a marriage. pepper in a new car, marriages of friends/family, 3 different apartments, a 4000 mile (round trip) road trip, surviving writing a 50 page paper and capstone shenanigans, some things i'm proud of, something i wish i could go back to and change.
i'm ready to settle into something less eventful.
2009.
wide open, a beautiful blank page. a time to let go of the past and move on to endless possibilities. the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
that is the closest to a resolution that i will come to this year.
love & peace to you
i wish nothing but happiness for the new year to all who read this. just remember to base all your actions around love, and the other pieces should begin to fall into place. now if only i could get better at this.
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| "I think we should turn around..." Estes Park was somewhat of a let down, both of us knew it though neither wanted to say it.
Nestled into the foot of the mountains, it possessed a magical quality absent from the gently rolling hills of our native Missouri. A mountain stream tricked through, and bridges frolicked across it like it were a mere toy and nothing more. The town was designed for tourists, with a dazzling array of shops aligned along the main street. But we walked along the sidewalks with the frigid mountain air seeping into every seam, every step, every breath, and I couldn't pop my collar enough to make up for the lack of scarf. We left two sets of nearly identical footprints in the still falling snow behind us, the classic chuck taylor design stamped out in sizes 8 and 13. With all the sane tourists tucked away in their respective and decidedly warm hometowns, the streets were ours. Only a few of the touristy-mountain-country stores remained open on this bitter winter day. A barrage of ugly sweats and t-shirts, native american jewelry that looked good in the windows but no one under the age of 60 actually wore, dishes and pottery imported from India, sharks teeth we all know didn't originate in the mountains, these were the kinds of things the store owners tried to entice their visitors with. Mulling around one of these shops was enough to fill our desires, it didn't matter that the rest of the town were barely alive anyway.
We took the road out of town, thinking we could drive the couple of hours it would take to get to Colorado Springs, but at a mere 5 miles out of town the sun began to disappear, the road gained a few more curves, the elevation grew a little higher, the snow fell a little heavier, the black road turned white before our eyes. It was then we nervously pulled over, let the parade of 4 pick-up trucks pass, and turned our little car around. It was as though I could feel the snow and cold pressing against my chest, and I fixated my mind on the fact that we'd be unable to escape it in the hopeless town. Upon arrival, however, the sun still shone, the road remained free of hazard, and it all laughed directly in our faces. It was only 3:30 in the afternoon, and the little holiday inn looked less than inviting in the town where we had exhausted all entertainment possibilities. I suggested turning around and trying the snowy pass again to which I received a stern, "If I didn't love you I would be pissed". Unable to come to terms with Estes Park, I offered, "Why don't we just finish out the last few days of our vacation traveling back and forth between the icy road and this mocking town".
We made it to Boulder. But eight inches of snow are now holding us captive. Converse were not made for this.
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| So I was sitting at my desk Tuesday morning. My metallic purple mug had only a cold and unwelcoming sip remaining in its embrace. My mid morning ritual coffee, however, was not yet coursing through my veins. It was a slow and typically mundane morning. I was staring at my computer screen working on a certification effort for an equipment upgrade for the XLS+, and I wanted to be doing most anything else that would get the clock ticking a little faster. A coworker and friend of mine enters my cube and asks the four of us, "Anyone wanna go and get a flu shot with me?"
The strangest part is that he asked this question with the same kind of interest and enthusiasm that one would use to ask if anyone wanted to hear a funny story involving the competition to draw the best toilet in our drafting program, or how he pushed the wrong button in the cockpit that made the oxygen masks deploy, or to simply ask if anyone wanted get away from the office for lunch.
No, no, none of this. He was asking if we wanted to join him in an unplanned venture to roll up our sleeves and be injected with the dead version of three different strands of the influenza virus, cultivated in chicken eggs.
All in all, he got three additional people to agree to the shot, myself included. We piled into his car and headed over to another building on the Cessna campus. The shots were free, by the way, provided at Cessna to anyone currently covered by the Definity insurance plan. Its just that the shot would be coming to our building in the coming weeks, and I wasn't really planning on getting one anyway, as I've never really had the flu nor do I have much faith in the ability of the shot to really prevent it .
It was a welcome relief to get away from my desk for 45 minutes and hang out with some of my new work friends instead. The thought is crazy, though, a few years back I would have cringed at the thought of a shot. I would have never considered the possibility of not only accepting a shot I didn't really require, but whole-heartedly welcoming it into my life.
Interesting.
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